No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
