the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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