I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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