Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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