ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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