she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
