she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
