there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
