i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
