I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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