i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
