There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower