It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.