Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.