things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
