I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
