so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
