You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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