WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
handjob tips. give me some.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
