i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
