also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Drunk is a universal language darling
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
