Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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