She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
