Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
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This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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