Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
