well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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