Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
