Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
