she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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