she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do vagina's smell?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
