No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I could make wine with my vomit
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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