You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
