Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
