oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
