If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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