I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
