I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
