there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize