At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
