I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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