Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
