he puts the penis in happiness.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
