Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
