Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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