Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
dude. I can hear the air.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
