last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
