Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
