so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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