That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
