I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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