I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm passing your future prison.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
