dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
