is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
