woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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