I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
