Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
