dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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