tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
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well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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