im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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