Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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