dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
