You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
